Shooting from the Hip

Every now and then, you just need to spew some thoughts all over the room and not worry about cleaning them up. This is one of those times ...

-Professors, if you're going to lecture for 75 minutes, please give me some reason to believe you're telling me information I need to know. If I don't think I'll be tested over it, I'm checking out mentally for the entire period and you might as well be speaking to the chalk board, which, in some cases, you already are. And if you don't have anything worthwhile to tell me, just stop talking. Nobody will complain. I promise.

-- Hey, studious kid, when a professor is about to let us out of class early and asks if anybody has any questions, do not, under any circumstances, ask a question. You've just screwed the entire class.

-- Women in the locker room: It's still a little weird.

-- Dear Guy Sitting in the Airport Effing with Your Blackberry,
Even I think you're a douchebag.
Regards,
Kevin Federline

-- Kate on "Lost." That's all I'm saying.

-- Women have "He's Just Not That Into You." Men have "She Really Likes You And You're Pretty Much Exactly What She Wants, But There Is This Asshole Who Mistreats Her That She Erroneously Feels Like She Can Change, So She's Going To Choose Him And Complain To You About Him."

-- If Peyton Manning gets intercepted in a forrest, and nobody's around to see him throw his hands in the air and complain to the back judge, did it really happen?

-- I don't get "indie" music or the people who like it. Seems like an awful existence. You find a band you really like, you start buying their albums and talking about them. But because they make good music, they become popular and hit it big, and are now you have to say they sold out and act like you're too sophisticated for them. This seems painful.

-- $2.99. Yes, I am out of my mind. Thanks for asking. Now stop it.

-- Top 3 GPA-destroying devices of all time:
1. Beer
2. Video games
3. Fantasy football
Trust me. I would know.



Out.