Rice Burners

Those Hondas with the 4-foot spoilers and the huge mufflers and the stickers all over? Hate 'em.
And I know that was a fragment. I don't care.
This has been welling up inside of me for some time, now. Actually, it's been so long that I almost forgot how angry it makes me.
First off, can someone tell these clowns that a Honda Civic is not a sports car, not a muscle car, not a luxury car, not really a cool car in any way? It's a Honda Civic. It's a fine car -- very durable, great gas mileage, high resale value. But it's not a race car.
A Charger is a muscle car. A Chevelle, a Camaro, a Challenger. A Fairlane, for crying out loud. You can work with these cars. They have 8-cylinders and are simply constructed. You can run a 13-second quarter mile for about $3,000. And you won't look like a toolshed or have a car that sounds like a leaky vacuum cleaner.
But let's say you drive a Civic and you've poured $11,000 into it and you're running in the high 14s. You're a sucker, but at least you've actually improved your car's performance. I respect that.
If you're driving around in a Geo Prism with a 4-foot spoiler, a carbon-fiber hood, tachometer, alloy wheels, a keg-sized muffler and some NOS stickers in the windows, you're a douchebag. You just are. You're delusional, a sucker, a waster of money and probably play lots of Halo in your parents' basement. You spend your weekends loitering in abandoned gas station parking lots wearing fake diamond earrings and wife beaters, smoking Black & Milds and lying about how much action you get.