Fearing Committment
Among my handful of fears -- snakes, snakes on a plane, "Snakes on a Plane," Hilary Clinton and ferrets -- is committment.
This is not uncommon. I am a man, which means that I have outward genitalia. It also means that entering committed relationships is completely terrifying to me.
Here's why: Every guy has seen one of his buddies meet a girl who seems really cool. She's upbeat, easy-going, and smiles a lot. Guys really like girls who smile a lot. And who laugh at our jokes. There is no quicker way to score points with a man than by thinking he is funny, or at least pretending to think so.
Anyway, the two start spending a lot of time together, after a tug of war and a barrage of insults hurled at the man from his buddies, Man and Woman enter something called a "relationship" which is an old Cherokee word meaning, "castration." It's as if the guy has lost a piece of his soul. The buddies will call to request his presence for certain manly rituals like going to football games or, perhaps, shooting cars with paintball guns. But the guy starts bringing his girlfriend along, which totally kills the vibe every time. I've covered this before, but guys are not the same people when girls are around.
Invariably, the girl starts finding little things she'd like to change about her boyfriend. He resists and, eventually, she's completely non-pleasable, complaining about everything thing he wants to do and accusing him of not caring about her, which at the core, is usually not true. He's just given her an inch, seen her take a mile and isn't going to give her the second inch.
So this is bothersome. And I'll leave it at that.
2 comments:
Wouldn't it be grand if both sexes could just agree to stop playing all the little games?
I see the validity of your comments and offer the counter perspective.
Too many times, I've seen my smart, attractive friends and/or sisters enter what I call the boyfriend dance.
I know many women who have changed their hair, clothes, their physical sizes in extreme cases and worry constantly that he's interested in another women.
I have seen them excuse away truly unexcusable behavior from any human being, let alone the one who "loves" them. I'm sorry, but if any man calls me an "F***ing b****" you can bet I won't be around to hear his sorry-ass apology. (of course, now that I'm married, this no longer applies quite as much to me. My husband has maybe yelled in my direction twice in almost 10 years of marriage.)
And, for the record, there are some women out there who are willing to be themselves and accept the man for who he is, too. But, you cannot have any relationship without some give and take. Otherwise, it might get a bit boring.
Just my thoughts.
it sounds like your friend's girlfriend really sucked. once you enter the "relationship", you still have to find a happy medium. yea a couple should spend some time together, but they also have to have their time with the guys or with the girls. if they don't have time away from eachother...they will drive eachother crazy! so it sounds like maybe you shouldn't fear committment, you should just fear the shitty girlfriend's your boys date =)(j/k)
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