The Frosh

My earlier post about spotting freshmen was born of my relationship to this kid I sit next to in Chem. 101. And let me just get this out there right away: I can't stand this kid. It's to the point that I dislike him so much, I actually look forward to coming to class, just to see what new thing I'll hate about him that day.
I'm actually taking notes on this guy. He's like a case study or something.

First of all, we're three weeks into class now, and have been sitting in the same spots every day. Yet every time I walk into class, his bag (which must weigh 35 pounds) is sitting on the floor in such a way that I cannot pull my chair out. Every day, it's this way, and he continues to place his bag in the same spot every time, wait for me to attempt to pull my chair out, then move his bag to the other side, which -- and this must be a light-bulb moment for him every time -- is on the aisle. And I'm not even going to theorize why he, or anybody, would show up more than 2 minutes early to a 9:30 class. That's a little more than my mind can handle at this point.

Here's a brief timeline (yes, I've been writing this stuff down):
Aug. 28 -- The professor brings up an article in the Capital-Journal. The Frosh goes, "more like the Crapital-Journal." Good one.
Aug. 28 -- The Frosh sends and receives no fewer than 14 text messages in a 10-minute span. May I remind everyone that it is 9:45 a.m.? Who is texting you at 9:45 a.m.? And why haven't you ended this relationship yet? SIDE NOTE: The Frosh uses both thumbs to type texts, and can do it without looking. This is a sick, sick human being.
Aug. 31 -- Discussing propane, the professor brings up Hank Hill. The Frosh chuckles at the mere mention of Hank Hill, adding "good show."
Sept. 7 -- To nobody in particular, but loud enough anyone in a four-desk radius could have heard him: "I gotta leave in about 5 minutes." Fantastic, dude. Glad we all know that. He ends up leaving for a "doctor's appointment" 20 minutes into the 1:20 class period. Evidently, he still hasn't realized that this professor hasn't taken attendance since the first day of class. Before leaving, he drops this on me:
"Do you take good notes."
"Occasionally."
"Can I get the notes from you next class?"
"Yeah."
Evidently, Einstein here also has not realized that the professor's lectures are basically word-for-word passages from the text book. And if you think I'm NOT taking this kid on a wild goose chase with my notes, you don't know me very well. There will be so much extraneous information in there, he'll think he's reading a Chuck Klosterman book.

Ok, I'm done now. I feel better.