How to spot a freshman

This time of year, I find that it is particularly easy to determine who on campus in a freshman. Of course, there is no redeeming value in being able to do this, which explains why I have taken an interest in it. Virtually everything I know is totally useless information. I digress.
The Top 3 ways to spot a freshman:
1. Self-conscious facial expression -- Freshmen always look like they're unsure of themselves, like they're worried they wore the wrong shirt and everybody is whispering about it behind their backs. Plus, a freshman may or may not know where he is going at any given time.
2. The extra 5 minutes in front of the mirror -- This shows up more dramatically in girls, who for at least the first semester of college, coordinate their clothing abd spend 25 minutes doing makeup and relocating individual strands of hair. By the time they graduate, they're curling out of bed 10 minutes before class, throwing on their "good" sweat pants and slamming together a pony tail.
3. The stupid questions -- Two days ago, The Frosh (see previous blog) leans over to me and says, "Do we have to ask to go to the bathroom, or just get up and go?" I, of course, said, "Dude, you can't leave the room under any circumstances. They take this stuff seriously in college."